Nightmares of the Mind
by HopelessRomanticxox
Summary: An insight into Natasha's time in the Red Room based on her own memories and nightmares. Clintasha. Rated T for suggested themes.


**Hello :) This is my Natasha/Clint fic based on her memories of Red Room. I just want you to know that I haven't read the comics and don't know that much about Red Room so Ivan Petrov is a character I have made up and this is based on a little bit of research I have done and from reading many fanfics.**

**Please enjoy and review for me :)**

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_Screams filled the room, loud and in pain, something like she had never heard before. But that was when she realised that it was she who was doing the screaming. Her body was the one strapped to a table and writhing in agonising pain as the thin needle dug it's way deeper into the side of her neck. Natalia was a child; a little girl being tortured on the table and, although fully aware she would be punished later for her actions, she couldn't help but scream and cry. It was a brain washing serum, injected into the neck to allow her to forget the past week's activities. Just in case she ever got kidnapped and blabbed. This was a weekly thing for all the young girls but of course, they never remembered the pain. It was inflicted upon them week after week and each time it was something new and horrifying._

The blankets stirred suddenly and in less than a second Clint was awake and grabbing for his bow. He looked to his side. Natasha was moving in her sleep, but not in a natural state. She was twisting and every so often a small, childlike moan escaped her lips. She was in pain, psychological pain.

Nightmares was something she dealt with on a regular basis, but since New York, since whatever Loki said to her she had been getting them more and more.

"Tash? Hey come on _паук_ you're okay." He ran soothing circles against her arm, breathing words of comfort into her hair and it helped a little. Her shaking frame slowed a little and the moaning stopped. Clint didn't though, he continued, knowing better than to wake her up and that the worst was yet to come.

_After the unbearable pain was finally over, Natalia was escorted back to her room. It was a single prison cell type room with a bed in the corner, a wash basin against the wall and an unsteady wooden desk. The only light in the room other than the single lamp on her desk, came from the small window at the top of the wall, barred and unrevealing. The young girl, only ten, crawled onto the bed and into the thin blanket, shivering against the cold. She wouldn't complain. She couldn't complain. She was already in enough trouble as it was._

Natasha was shivering now, but the room wasn't cold. It was through fear and her mind reacting to the experiences she suffered through as a child. Clint always thought his childhood was bad but it didn't scratch the surface compared to his partners.

Nevertheless, he grabbed the blankets, pulling them up against her frame and wrapping a strand of thick scarlet hair round his finger.

"Ssh Ssh baby come on now. It's all gone, everything's gone, it's just me and you." He pressed a kiss to the nape of her neck, continuing to whisper over and over again.

_If a girl in the Red Room was bad, or didn't behave in the way that was expected of them, it was down to their handler to punish them. Natalia's handler was Ivan Petrov; a man in his forties who was covered in ugly battle scars. When they had first taken her, Ivan had treated Natalia like a child of his own, looking after her, caring for her and ensuring she was happy. But good things only last so long here._

_He came into her room that evening, but she wasn't asleep. Natalia lay awake at night fearing that he turned up because she knew what he'd do. _

"_глупый__, __глупый__ребенок__" He'd call her as he pulled away her blanket._

_Then he'd hurt her._

_Really hurt her._

Natasha woke with a start, tangled in blankets and covered in a thin layer of sweat. Her pupils were huge and her breathing heavy and although she was still awake Clint could see her mind was still back in her child state, back in all those memories. In seconds he was stroking her hair once more and calling out to her softly.

"Tasha? Hey come on Tash it's me Clint. Just you and me kiddo there's nobody else here. You're okay, I promise you, you're okay. Just come back to me yeah?" He continued the speech like a mantra, rubbing circles against her arm with one hand and twirling her hair with his finger. She was shaking like mad with fear and her eyes were still huge, something wasn't clicking.

"паук, вернись ко мне. Ты в порядке, я обещаю" Clint whispered into her hair and slowly, ever so slowly her breathed calmed.

She stopped shaking and closed her eyes, leaning back into his chest and sighing, allowing him to wrap his muscled arms around her waist, holding her steady and keeping her in the present.

"ястреб?" She whispered into the night.

"Yeah Tash?" He answered sleepily from her side. She turned, burying her face against his chest and pressing a hand to his skin. She looked up a little, catching his gaze.

"Don't ever call me kiddo." She gave him a small smile, a ghost of her usual one but it was enough to start with. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and ran a lazy finger down her spine softly, singing to her quietly as she drifted back to sleep.

She never had nightmares in his arms.

She just never did.

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**Hope you enjoyed :) Please read&review :)**


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